Halloween

So- Tuesday's surgery was a no go. I prepared, didn't eat after midnight, followed all the rules. But I woke up early- felt ok....took my temperature  "just in case", and I had a fever!

100.3 to be exact. 

So Halloween it is.  

I have had other things to focus on the past two days. Besides being sick, my big boy Tyson (Great Dane / Boxer mix) isn't doing too well. He is 11 and limping. Doc told us its Bone Cancer. So we have been keeping him pampered, Happy and Stoned on his puppy pain killers. 

Larry has been more of a Pain IN MY ASS than usual.  Every day seems to be a bit stronger. It's like a piercing burning pain straight to my thigh bone. 

I'm still concerned about Larry the Lump. I keep thinking that I'm going to read something that will ease my mind. But from what I have gathered- 

Lipoma's move freely under the skin....this doesn't. 

Lipoma's rarely grow over 5cm......this is much bigger.

The cancerous form of this type of mass is called a Sarcoma. There are different types.  I am praying I am wrong. 

I just have this feeling. I can't shake it. I do t know how the hell I can handle it all if this comes back malignant. My amazing husband does not deserve to have to deal with this.  He has handled himself and this family on such strong shoulders.  I love him more than life itself. There has NEVER Been ANY Other!  He is now and always has been "THE ONE"!  

I wish the world could share 1 percent if our love- It would be a much better place to live. 

My Husband is a very handsome, strong, caring, sexy, generous, Hysterically Funny, Brave, thoughtful man. But he has his "other" side. Just put it this way- you never want to make him switch on the "other side". He puts me and my girls in front if everything and everyone in earth. That sounds cliché, but it is literally Me and the girls on one side-  the universe on the other with him holding between us. 

A man like that is extremely rare. Many try to act the type- but he is just programmed this way. I NEVER have to worry about any physical threat. I have never been afraid of a noise in the night,  or a shady guy coming towards us on a dark street. I am very grateful that I have never ever had those fears. 

Instead- I only fear things that could break him- and it isn't much. 

I am afraid that if this comes back bad- It will rip him up because in his mind -he couldn't "protect" me from this. 

Call it intuition- but I have a bad feeling about this. And now I have another 8 days to wait. In the meantime- I am going to kick this colds Ass, and finally get out of the house tomorrow with the kids. 

Quality time outdoors is just what I need.