Introducing Larry and Betty

I'm a 36 year old happily married Wife and Mom of 2 beautiful girls.
I hope I am starting to write this for absolutely NO reason, but I have a feeling......

I have a LARGE Lump (Larry Lump) on my left Ass cheek.  It is BIg, It Is Deep.  I can grab it with my entire palm, and then some. I measure it today with a fabric measuring tape.  I got 9cm by 7cm on the surface.

And then there is Betty.  Betty is a small Bump, also on the left side, but located in my Dimple area of my lower back.

I finally had the courage to go to the doctor in July this year to have Larry checked out.  First I went to my family doctor.  He encouraged me to stop being a chicken and go get it checked out.  He did actually scare me by telling me "It's probably NOtHiNg- But if you leave Nothing alone long enough, it will become something!"

Im a "Strike while the Iron is Hot" kinda girl, So THAT Scared the crap out of me and I immediately went to a General surgeon in my city.  Nice older gentleman.  My hubby was with me, as always, so that took the pressure off a bit.  I stripped down, put on the paper robe and then shamelessly showed my Lumpy Ass off to this nice elderly doctor.  He squeezed, poked, pinched and finally gave me a temp tat by drawing on my Ass.

He said "It's probably nothing, a lipoma, but we will take it out just as well.  I found a little bit of relief with his words, and then showed him my Betty Bump.  The doctor said since Larry is very deep, he will have to put me under anesthesia in the hospital, and he will take out Larry and Betty.
I scheduled the surgery for 3 weeks from then.

Side story- my health has really sucked the past few years.  After having my daughter in 2006- I began to have terrible pains in my pelvis.  After many visits, and sonograms, and a liproscopic surgery for scar tissue, I had my left ovary and tube removed and there was a large endometriosis mass attaching my organs.  The doctor couldn't get it all as it is deep in my pelvic wall, so every month I am in A LOT of pain before, during and immediately after my period.  Which is why I Hate going to doctors and which is why I have neglected my health and let Larry grow so big.

Back to the story- when time came for my Larry Lumpectomy- Mother Nature had other plans, and I was doubled over with my monthly hell.  I cancelled the surgery, and said I would call back to reschedule......which I didn't.  (Remember- Strike while the iron is hot?)

So Now it's October.  I have begun to have pain in my ass.  Larry has grown.  I feel this throbbing dull pain from my lump, down my thigh.  My Knee is also hurting, but I'm not sure if its from Larry pressing on a nerve, or because I have been sleeping with my knees bent every night because my 135 pound Doggie has insisted on sleeping my my knees laying the opposite way every night.

So- I decided to reschedule the surgery, and the person in Charge of scheduling says I have to come back in to see the doctor.  So I have been thinking- I'm not too cool with the whole "Cut first- Biopsy later" technique.  Shouldn't they have to do a Biopsy FIRST?  I don't know much about malignancies- but one thing I always remembered is when you cut into the C word - it spreads.

I now have an appointment in 2 days. I have many questions before the knife hits my skin.
I just have a feeling.... And I pray that I Am WRONG!